By Mary Obata, M.A., MFT

• Breathe! You always have your breath available to you, at any given moment during the day.  When we are under stress, we take very shallow breaths. Whenever you remember, take a few nice deep breaths, breathe in through your nose all the way down into your stomach, inflating it like a balloon as you inhale and deflating it as you exhale through your mouth.  It is a simple, natural way to help you relax throughout the day, and it is especially good to do when you are under stress.

• Step outside.  Take a few moments to go outside.  Just step outside the door for a few minutes while your baby is occupied or asleep.  We can forget there is another world out there.  The fresh air and sunshine will rejuvenate you.

• Take a walk around the block.  Better than just stepping outside, take the baby and go for a walk around the block. The exercise will energize you.

• Lie down for 5-10 minutes.  Just lying down and closing your eyes for a few minutes can give you the break you need to refresh you. If you have a hard time taking a nap with the baby or you have too many things to do, allow yourself at least a few minutes to rest.  It is amazing how it can help.

• Sit down and have a cup of tea. Do something that feels like it is just for you to nourish yourself, whether it be drinking a cup of tea, reading a magazine article, chatting on the phone, doing your nails, or watching a favorite t.v. show.

• Write in a journal. Express your feelings on paper and get in touch with who you are.  Research shows that journal writing can be beneficial and healing in itself.  A gratitude journal in which you write what you are thankful for can also increase your positive feelings about yourself and your life.

• Express all your feelings. If you don't like to write in a journal, express your feelings somehow by talking to someone such as a friend or spouse, drawing a picture of your feelings or some other artistic expression, or moving in a way that your body wants to move.  It is important to express all your feelings, good and bad. Especially common for new moms is a hidden resentment towards your baby for needing 24-hour care and attention. Just acknowledging it can allow it to move through you and release.  And it can work just to acknowledge it to yourself!

• Pause at each transition. When going from one activity to the next, pause and take a break before going onto the next activity.  Especially when driving from one place to the next (such as from home to work or from work to home), upon arrival, sit in the car for a few moments and center yourself before moving on to the next activity. It can make those transitions much smoother.

• Go out by yourself!  At least once a week, have some time away from your baby and spouse (when you feel ready to leave your baby for an extended amount of time).  Start out slowly and work your way up to it. A time just for you to go out with a girlfriend, get a massage, get your nails done, see a movie.